


Dayspring

by jokatee



Category: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Alpha Jacob Black, Alternate Timelines, Alternate Universe - Age Changes, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon-Typical Violence, Depression, Explicit Language, F/M, Fix-It of Sorts, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Imprinting (Twilight), Language, M/M, Mild Language, Multi, One True Pairing, POV Bella Swan, POV Jacob Black, Romance, Romantic Friendship, Soulmates, Supernatural Elements, Twilight Renaissance, Twilight Team Jacob
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-29
Updated: 2020-04-30
Packaged: 2021-02-26 09:57:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 6,860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22468873
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jokatee/pseuds/jokatee
Summary: Jacob came down with a strange illness, and hasn't spoken to Bella in months. Edward left her in the woods alone after her graduation party went wrong, and, instead of Sam, its Jacob who finds her.
Relationships: Jacob Black/Bella Swan, Quil Ateara V/Embry Call, Sam Uley/Emily Young
Comments: 41
Kudos: 91





	1. Pain

**Author's Note:**

> Just some background on the timeline/things I've changed for this fic:
> 
> Instead of 2006, this takes place starting in 2012 - They graduate in 2012!  
Edward stayed through senior year because there was never an 18th birthday party. Bella convinced Alice to not have a birthday party, but instead, a graduation party.  
Jacob is also two years older (18 when this fic starts - approx one year younger than Bella)

**DAYSPRING  
**/ˈdāˌspriNG/  
noun

1 : _archaic_ : the beginning of day : DAWN

2 : the beginning of a new era or order of things  
_// the dayspring of their youth  
\- W. B. Yeats_

**BELLA POV**

I knew it was cold – my body was shivering – but I didn’t _feel_ cold. I didn’t feel anything, actually. I didn’t feel the wet moss under my cheek, or the quick, shallow breaths escaping my lungs. I didn’t feel the rain coming down through the thick trees, and I certainly didn’t feel my heart racing the way I thought it should be.

_Is it even there anymore?_ I thought, and I clawed weakly at my chest where my heart was supposed to be. _Gone_.

_He’s_ gone. I didn’t know how long I had been wherever I was, but it had been about 3:30 when he led me into the forest to leave me, and it was completely dark now, so it must have been a while.

_Oh god. Oh **god**. He’s gone. They’re both gone. Gone. Gone. Gone. My Edward and my Jacob. _

Jacob had been gone for a while– after a seemingly normal night at the Blacks, he had suddenly gotten a fever and the shakes, and Billy had ushered me out of the house, insisting that I not come back until they called.

They never called.

I had left countless messages, pleading Jake to call me back. Billy had picked up the first time, told me he had mono, and said he would have Jake call me back when he could. He never did, so I was left to leave a voicemail every day. It had been a month since I’d seen Jacob when Alice decided to have that _stupid_ graduation party for me. 

_I didn’t even want a party._

Now they were gone. They were all gone. Edward – I gasped as I thought his name and clutched at my tightening chest – was _gone_.

_Gone gone gone gone gone gone gone._

My chest tightened more and more until I couldn’t breathe anything but short, weak gasps, as I lay on the forest floor, lost, and empty.

_Gonegonegonegonegonegonegonegonegonegonegonegonegone._

I shut my eyes tight, so tight they hurt, and dug more desperately at my heart, trying to relieve the pressure the invisible ropes that were tied around my middle were causing.

_Goneit’smyfaultgoneallmyfaultgonehe’sgonehe’sgonehe’sgone._

I heard something – the rustling of leaves in front of me and someone speaking softly. 

“Bella?” the low voice questioned. 

I whimpered, not wanting to open my eyes, still trying to focus on breaking open my sternum. All I felt was the pressure spreading to my lungs – I couldn’t breathe. 

“Bells? It’s me. You’re gonna be okay,” he said gently, and I could hear him leaning in closer.

I thought I recognized the voice, but I couldn’t bring myself to pry my eyes open or bring my attention away from the tightness creeping into my stomach. Was I dying?

I barely noticed the arms that slid underneath me and cradled me against a warm – no, hot – chest. The tightness in my middle loosened, ever so slightly.


	2. Lost and Found

**JACOB POV**

The search party was spread all throughout the woods around the Swan house. All the Forks police cruisers, along with about ten other vehicles, were parked in the driveway. Bella hadn’t been seen since she left Forks High School – her truck was in the driveway, her bag was on the steps to the house, and the trail smelled of rotten bloodsucker. It was like one of them had taken her before she even got inside.

The pack had immediately checked the leech residence, but, oddly, the house was completely bare, and all the cars were gone. Their scent had been slightly stale, as if they had all left earlier that day. Most of the pack had assumed the worst.

_Do you think they kidnapped her? _Embry had worried.

_Maybe she ran away with the bloodsuckers, to be changed. I mean, she loves ‘em so much, I’d only assume she wants to become one of them._

I instinctively snarled at Paul’s thought. _She wouldn’t do something like that._

I knew Bella – she wasn’t one to do something so drastic, so suddenly. Maybe they _had_ kidnapped her…

When we brought the news of the Cullen’s disappearance to Charlie, he insisted on a search party, so we split up to cover as much ground as we could in as little time as possible. It was pitch dark, now, but I didn’t need a flashlight – wolf sight, ya know.

It was after about an hour of searching when I heard the whispers.

_“Gone. Gone. Gone. Gone.”_

I broke into a sprint and found her, curled in a ball, clutching at something in her chest, whispering frantically.

_“He’s gone. My fault. Gone. All my fault. He’s gone.”_

I walked around to get a look at her face – to see if she had seen me. Her eyes were shut tight, and her face was contorted in pain – so much pain.

_“Gone. My fault. Gone. Gone. Gone. Gone.”_

“Bella?” I managed to speak softly so I wouldn’t startle her.

She whimpered quietly and wrenched harder at her chest. I squatted down to get closer to her. “Bells? It’s me. You’re gonna be okay,” I said, tenderly, trying to comfort her into looking at me.

She still didn’t open her eyes, so I sighed, and, gentle as I could, picked her up and held her close to my chest.

“Oh, Bells…” I whispered, pulling her as close as possible against me. She was _freezing. _How long has she been out here? It was nearly 10 degrees below zero, but my body heat seemed to help a bit. I could only imagine what she had been doing all the way out here, and why the leech’s trail went in a completely different direction as she had gone.

It was a thirty-minute walk back to the Swan house, and she continued her muttering the whole way back.

_“He’s gone. He’s gone. He’s gone.”_

As I carried her through the tree line, I shouted, “She’s here! I’ve got her!” Charlie rushed over to me, insisting that he carry her into the house. Charlie thanked me, preoccupied with getting her a blanket and carrying her away. I nodded gruffly and walked back towards Sam and the pack gathering back by our vehicles.

“You alright, Jacob?” He asked.

“Let’s go,” I said, shoving past him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm not sure when I will write more - this story is gonna take a while, so stick with me! Follow me on tumblr (chiefjacob) , where I'll update on the status of it. (1/29)


	3. JUNE

**BELLA POV**

JUNE

Charlie told me Jacob had been the one to find me in the woods. I didn’t remember anything about being brought back home.

Jacob hadn’t called. I hadn’t tried to call him.

I dreamt of fire every night.


	4. JULY

**BELLA POV**

JULY

I stopped trying to read, and I stopped listening to music. I had hoped they would help me to feel something. Anything. But they didn’t. I didn’t think it was possible to feel quite literally _nothing_.

Jacob still hadn’t called. I hadn’t tried to call him.

I learned to control my screaming, but sometimes I still woke Charlie up when I dreamt of the fire attacking a reddish-brown wolf.

I didn’t know what my dreams meant, and I didn’t care. They were the only thing making me _feel_, even if it wasn’t a good feeling. It meant I was still alive.


	5. AUGUST

**BELLA POV**

AUGUST

I tried reading again. It didn’t help. But I guess Romeo and Juliet wasn’t exactly the best choice in literature at the moment.

Jacob still hadn’t called. I hadn’t tried to call him.

I dreamt of the fire again, but this time, the flames were attacking me. The wolf danced between the fire and me, giving me a pained glance before jumping into the blaze. When I woke with my hand clamped over my mouth, gasping, I could have sworn I heard howls through my cracked window.


	6. SEPTEMBER (Gifts)

**BELLA POV**

SEPTEMBER

Charlie reminded me of my birthday – I had forgotten. He managed to persuade me out of the house to get berry cobbler at the diner that night. It felt…different…to be out of the house and around people.

I recognized a few – Angela and Ben had a table across the restaurant and seemed to be quite happy. A new waitress (at least new to me) took our orders. Charlie didn’t try to make small talk, and I was grateful for that.

Before I could climb the stairs to my room when we got home, Charlie cleared his throat. I turned around to see him holding a newspaper-wrapped box. I started to protest, but he cut me off, speaking quickly.

“It’s not from me…” he said. “I know how you don’t like gifts. I tried telling him not to get you anything, that you would rather just see him instead… but he insisted. He told me to give it to you.” He held the box out to me, looking anxious, probably anticipating a negative response from me.

I took the box and found that it was fairly light. “Who…” I started to question.

Charlie cleared his throat nervously. “Well…it’s from Jake, Bells.”

“Oh.”

He seemed ready to take the gift back when he said “You don’t gotta open it. I’ll tell him you didn’t want any presents- “

“No… I’ll take it,” I said, surprising myself with the confident sound of my voice. “I’ll just…bring it up to my room.”

Charlie nodded. I hesitated before turning to go up the stairs, then turning back around to see him settling into the couch in front of the TV. “Ch-… Dad?”

“Hm?” He looked up at me.

With the box still in my hand, I made my way over to him and hugged him. I squeezed him as I said, “Thank you.”

He stiffened for a split second, probably in shock, before hugging me back. “Of course, Bells.” I could see his face had become flush with embarrassment at my sudden sign of affection, but he seemed happy. After all, I had spoken more than three words in one conversation. He turned back to the TV after giving me a contented nod, and I took that as a sign to retreat to my bedroom.

Charlie and I weren’t typically affectionate people. That’s why we always got along – he understood me, and I understood him. But I knew I had been putting him through absolute hell lately. I didn’t miss the worried looks he gave me when he thought I wasn’t paying attention, or the hushed phone calls with Renee about my health.

He had even once tried to convince me to go back to Jacksonville to live with my mom, but I refused. I didn’t want to go – he thought it was because I was waiting for _them_ to come back, but really, I wasn’t waiting for anything. I just…liked it in Forks. It was comfortable. Jacksonville would have been too much – too many people and too many noises and, to be honest, too much Renee.

Don’t get me wrong, I loved my mother, but I had realized that taking care of her throughout my childhood had forced me to have too much responsibility, too much stress, and I didn’t need that. I needed to just…be.

I sat down on my bed, the newspaper box in my lap. I stared at it for what seemed like several minutes before I picked it up. I contemplated shaking it, but I really didn’t know what Jacob could want to give to me, especially after we hadn’t spoken for so long. I thought he didn’t want me anymore like…well, like _him_. After three months I still couldn’t even think his name. I was afraid it would tighten those invisible ropes that strangled my middle the first few weeks, before I realized they were only there when I thought about…

I shoved the rest of my train of thought away and focused on the gift in my hands. Carefully, I peeled away one corner. I peeked under the paper and found that it looked like a wooden box. I unwrapped the rest of the corners on that end of the gift and slid it out of the paper – it was a wooden box, and it looked like it may have even been hand-carved.

I looked closer at the box, inspecting the details that were chiseled around the bottom edge. It was a tree line of fir trees. Turning the box over, I found ‘Bells’ etched into the bottom in a familiar scrawl, and an unexpected lump suddenly appeared in my throat. I hadn’t even opened the box yet, so I blinked away the tears threatening to spill over.

Slowly, I opened the box and stared incredulously at its contents. There was a beautiful dream catcher, made with dark green string. Small black feathers and strings of beads hung from it.

_How…?_

I noticed there was another item in the bottom of the box – a beaded bracelet, on which hung a wooden carving of a wolf, painted russet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of right now, this chapter is unedited, so bear with me. Leave a comment if you like it!


	7. Progress

**BELLA POV**

I laid in bed in disbelief at Jacob’s gift. What did it mean? It couldn’t mean anything; it was just a coincidence. There was no way he could have known anything about my dreams. No way…

I closed my eyes, trying not to think about the box that sat on my nightstand, the dreamcatcher that now hung on my headboard, or the bracelet around my left wrist. I let my mind wander freely for once, thinking back to the last gifts I had received.

_ (four months prior) _

_ “I really hope Alice didn’t go too overboard,” I mumbled, as Edward and I walked hand in hand up the porch steps towards his home. I was definitely not looking forward to whatever was waiting for me behind those doors. I was already exhausted from the day’s events – Charlie had taken me out for breakfast, Jessica and Angela coerced me into getting ready for the graduation ceremony with them, and of course, I tripped and nearly fell off the stage when my name had been called. _

_ Edward chuckled. “It’s Alice,” he said simply, basically confirming my worries. _

_ We paused at the door and I heard the unmistakable bumping of a stereo, along with flashing purple and blue lights coming from the windows. I had convinced Alice not to throw me a birthday party if I consented to her throwing an ‘even better’ graduation party in my honor. It looked as though she had invited the whole school. I groaned quietly as Edward opened the door and led me inside. _

_ Almost immediately, my pixie-like vampire best friend bounded gracefully up to me, enveloping me in a tight hug. “Oh, I’m so glad you let me do this, Bella! Isn’t it amazing? Everyone from Forks High is here!” Her voice jingled happily. _

_ I forced a smile and said “Yeah, Alice. It’s great, really.” _

_ She didn’t seem convinced, but led me into the living room nonetheless, which was practically packed with students. There was a large snack table against the far back glass wall, and another smaller table next to it laden with gifts. Edward must have seen my look of dismay and probably utter terror when my eyes landed on the gifts and quickly explained in a hushed voice next to my ear, “You don’t have to open them until everyone leaves. I tried to tell her you didn’t want gifts, but…” _

_ “It’s Alice,” I finished, completely defeated. _

_ The party had lasted a few hours and, after the last few stragglers left the Cullen house, I reluctantly followed a bouncing Alice to the gift table. Esme had pulled up a chair for me, and the rest of the Cullens gathered around on the couch and remaining chairs. Edward stood behind my chair, his hands on my shoulders, and Alice stood by the gift table and handed me the first one. _

_ “This one is from Emmett!” Alice said. It was a large box, and I was confused when it felt empty. _

_ Emmett answered my puzzled look. “I already installed it in your truck,” he said, grinning. “It’s a radio. At least now you’ll be able to jam to cool tunes while you’re driving that hunk of-“ _

_ “Hey!” I interrupted him. “Don’t hate the truck” I was smiling now – I genuinely enjoyed the thought behind this gift. _

I had forgotten about the radio – I didn’t drive my truck very much, other than to and from Newton’s for work. Charlie had suggested I get a job to get out of the house, and I took his advice in hopes it would deter him from sending me to Jacksonville or some mental institution.

_ “Okay! Next! This one’s from Esme and Carlisle,” Alice said, quickly replacing the empty box in my hands with an envelope that had my name written in beautiful script. _

_ Esme smiled gently and said, “You’ve been looking a little pale lately.” _

_ I laughed lightly and opened the envelope. Inside were two airplane tickets to Jacksonville for any time within the next year. “Oh…” I looked up at Esme and Carlisle and met their soft eyes with a realization. _

_ “We figured you would want to visit your mother. Before…” said Carlisle. _

_ “Yes, thank you. Thank you so much,” I said, my eyes stinging with a few tears threatening to spill over, as I stood to hug them both. “I appreciate this so much.” _

_ Alice hurriedly took the tickets and gave them to Edward, who pocketed them inside his jacket. She handed me a smaller box. “This is from Rosalie,” she said, beaming. _

_ I looked up at Rosalie and she smiled, though it didn’t look at all sincere. “Alice picked it out,” she muttered, looking down at her feet. _

_ “Thank you,” I said, unsure of what else to say. _

_ “Well you haven’t opened it, yet! Go on!” Alice was still very bouncy and excited, and it was exhausting me. _

_ I sighed slightly and started to tear at one end of the box when I felt a sharp pain on my index finger and dropped the box. _

_ “Ouch,” I said, examining my finger. “Paper cut.” _

_ Everything happened so fast after that. I looked up in time to see Jasper looking pained and...feral. He took a step towards me as Edward vaulted over the chair and my head, causing me to stumble clumsily back into the snack table. My hand landed on shards of a shattered crystal bowl – Emmett and Edward were holding Jasper back as he snarled in my direction, with Alice holding his face in her hands trying to comfort him with her words. _

_ Carlisle and Rosalie were at my side, Rosalie helping me stand while Carlisle held my injured hand. Esme had disappeared into the kitchen, and Emmett and Edward were pulling Jasper in that direction as well – Edward gave me a blank look as he left the room. _

_ Rosalie said nothing as she led me up the stairs into Carlisle’s office, where she stood in the corner while he stitched the cut on my hand. _

_ Edward didn’t speak at all when he drove me home, save for an “I love you” before he left. _

I shook the memory from my mind and, as I had expected, the ropes that were bound around my chest had tightened. I pulled the covers up to my chin and tried to regulate my breathing. This had been the first time that I allowed myself to think about them in such detail since they left, but it didn’t hurt as much as I expected it to. Nevertheless, it hurt.

I let the tears fall silently as I felt the pain. I felt the pain radiate from my chest down to my toes and up to the top of my head. I felt the pain where my heart was supposed to be. I felt the pain until I fell asleep.

~ ~ ~

This time I woke with a single scream. The beautiful wolf had jumped into the flames again. I checked the time on my phone – 3:38 a.m. I listened hard for Charlie and heard him still snoring in his room. Then, I heard what I was _sure _ was a howl, far into the woods, and an answering howl closer towards my house.

I slowly got out of bed, only barely noticing that I had fallen asleep in my jeans and t-shirt from yesterday, and made my way to the window. It was always cracked open now, and a cold breeze blowing across my face caused me to blink furiously and wake up a little bit more.

When I reached my window, I hesitated before deciding to open it. As I pushed the window up, I scanned the edge of the forest. I was about to shut the window and crawl back into bed when I saw movement out of the corner of my eye. A huge creature had just moved to the tree line and sat down. I blinked and tried to focus on it through the dark – when my eyes finally adjusted to the light, I couldn’t believe what I saw.

_Am I still dreaming?_

It was the russet wolf, sitting on the edge of the trees, licking its paw, not paying me any attention.

“Oh!” I gasped when I had realized this, and the wolf’s head jerked up look at me. It stood up and I met its eyes. Its eyes… they looked so familiar… and it all happened in an instant.

The earth shifted, ever so slightly. Enough that I lost my balance, but held on to the window sill to keep standing. The wolf's eyes seemed to hold me in place. The ropes that were always tied around my chest tore and fell, and, for the first time in months, I _felt_ my heartbeat. I could breathe freely again. Warmth flowed through me like water, and everything I had been through seemed minuscule compared to what I was feeling now, in this moment. 

The wolf’s knees trembled, and it stumbled backwards, whining, never breaking eye contact as it disappeared into the forest. I heard its paws on the forest floor, fading away into the distance as it ran away.

“What…” I stepped back as my wolf ran away from me.

_Wait... _ my _ wolf? _

I shook my head, dismissing the thought. What had just happened? Before I could close the window completely, I heard an unmistakably desperate, pained howl.

I thought of nothing but the wolf’s familiar dark eyes as I laid down and drifted into the first dreamless sleep I had had in months.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of right now, this chapter is unedited, so bear with me. Leave a comment if you like it!


	8. So This Is What They've All Been Talking About

**JACOB POV**

There had been leeches coming into the area, and for some reason, they lingered in Forks, close to her house, but we never caught them.

The more often they showed up, the more wolves shifted. The pack consisted of Sam, Paul, Jared, Embry, and me; Quil got sick a few days earlier, so he would be shifting soon, too. Even little Seth Clearwater was showing signs. It made me sick to think how a boy so young was inevitably going to be forced into this life. It made me sick to think about why we were changing.

I couldn’t sleep, so I showed up to my shift early and relieved Paul. I wanted to get a closer look at the house before I took my post circling the area, so I walked up to the treeline and sat down. The light was still on in her bedroom - she must have fallen asleep with it on. That wasn’t uncommon these days.

I think she usually tried to stay awake as long as possible to avoid the nightmares that had been causing her to wake up screaming. She talked in her sleep, too. Sometimes repeating his name, and sometimes, asking him not to go.

“No, please...please, let me go instead… don’t go… please…” she was murmuring quietly. Right as she woke up with a small scream, Paul howled in the distance, letting Sam know he was off. I trotted back a little into the trees to howl as well, confirming I was here.

I walked back to the edge of the trees, not looking up at the window, but instead licking my front left paw. I had been running a lot, lately, and they were sore.

I thought I was far enough in the shadows that she wouldn’t see me, but apparently, I was wrong.

I heard her gasp and I stood and jerked my head up to see what she was looking at. Of course, she was looking straight at me. I met her gaze, and it happened in an instant. 

The earth shook, for just a millisecond. My knees gave out from under me and I stumbled backward. My body was filled with a warmth I had only ever felt through Sam and Embry’s thoughts. A thousand strings attaching me to earth broke and reattached themselves. To her.

_ Oh god. It’s her. _

I groaned under the weight of the force of it all, but it came out as a whine.

_ It’s her. Fuck. _

She was so beautiful, but she looked confused. Of course she wouldn’t understand. I wondered if she had felt it…

_ Oh shit, dude! _Embry was on duty and had seen it all, of course, and I heard his howl alerting Sam. A few moments later, I felt Sam shift. He took a moment to figure out what was going on.

_ Sam... _

I backed away, not wanting to take my eyes away from hers.

_ Go, _ Sam thought, giving me permission to run.

I shook my head, trying to get a hold of myself and what had just happened, and I ran. I ran as hard as my paws would let me. They still hurt, but I didn’t care. I knew Sam and Embry were still in my head, but I didn’t care.

***

I don’t know how far I ran, but it had been a week. I know I’d definitely made it past the Canadian border and decided I’d double back. I wanted to see her so bad. To tell her everything. I loved her before, so much...but now it meant so much more. This was a sign from my ancestors that my love for my Bells wasn’t for nothing. It meant that it was real.

I didn’t know much about imprinting other than what I’d heard in the stories told to us at pack bonfires, and if we’re being honest, I didn’t pay much attention. I know Sam had imprinted on Emily shortly after he had phased, and I’d seen Embry imprinting on Quil through the pack mind. I could feel what Sam and Embry felt about their imprints - it was the strongest form of love I had ever seen.

According to legends, a wolf imprints on his true love. Now, the imprint can accept or refuse it - if they accept, the imprint will be immortal, just like their wolf, for as long as the wolf chooses to keep phasing. It’s never really unexpected - we have to already love them and acknowledge that we love them before it happens. It’s basically the ancestors confirming it, telling us, ‘_yup, that’s the one.’ _ We aren’t forced to be with them or anything - it’s not some weird betrothal shit or anything, but it means something. Sorta like a soul mate.

And it made sense. I mean, Bella and I had been best friends since we were little. I knew her better than I knew myself, sometimes. And I already loved her. So. God. Damn. Much.

_This just proves that we really are perfect for each other...if she accepts._

I had wanted to be with her before I phased for the first time. I had wanted to answer her calls - I’d even tried a couple times, but Sam gave an alpha order not to speak to her. She wasn’t part of the pack and therefore didn’t get to know the truth. I was supposed to just...abandon her. I hated it. God, I hated it. I wanted her to know so bad. I needed her to figure it out so we could be together again.

That’s why I sent her a birthday gift. It was kind of a clue, really. I spent days carving a wooden box, making a dreamcatcher, and a bracelet, all with wolves on them. I had told her about the legends when she first moved back, back when we both thought that was just what they were - legends. She already knew, I just had to remind her. To push her in the right direction. That wasn’t _ technically _ against Sam’s alpha order.

But now that she was my imprint, she was an exception. Imprints got to know about the pack and the legends. So now that I had my head straight, I was on my way home to call her and ask her to come over. It wasn’t until I was about thirty miles north of the reservation that I heard from Sam.

_ About time you got back. _ Sam thought. _ A redhead leech has been trying to infiltrate the reservation. _

He showed me the redhead in his mind. She was thin and pale white with fiery red curls that reached half way down her back. Her movements reminded me of those of a cat - faster than the average leech, but graceful and precise. She had crossed the treaty line multiple times and just barely evaded the pack every time.

I continued running and thought, _ she has to want something, otherwise she probably would have moved on by now. _

_ Yeah, that’s what we’re thinking. You’re on duty tonight, so make sure you get yourself well rested when you get home. _

Before I could protest, Sam started again. _ Bella can wait one more day. She started calling your house again after you left. I explained to Billy what happened. He told her you would be in touch with her soon. _

I couldn’t stop myself. Just the mention of her made my heart leap, and I couldn’t help picturing her beautiful face, her kind eyes, her soft smile and sweet laughter that made her eyes crinkle and her long brown curls bounce around her shoulders. I sighed as I ran. I could feel Sam roll his eyes, but he didn’t say anything else. He knew exactly how I was feeling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 4/3 UPDATE:
> 
> I'm really really sorry about how long it's been since I've updated. I want to say thank you to every single one of you who has clicked on this story, left kudos and comments, and everyone on tumblr supporting me. It's been a rough couple of months but I finally got some inspiration to continue the story and am currently working on a story outline so I can make sure everything fleshes out correctly. So to get everyone excited for the next chapter to hopefully be up by next week.... Charlie is getting a dog! We will also be working on Bella's mental health and giving her the help and clarity she needs right now.  
Again, thank you so so so much to everyone who has read and everyone supporting me right now. Love you all, stay safe!
> 
> Follow me on tumblr @chiefjacob for more detailed updates and twilight content!


	9. Ready

**BELLA POV**

I woke up late that morning. Well, 10 a.m. was late for me, at least. I felt… well-rested. My head felt clear. I had forgotten what wonders a good night’s sleep could do. For the first time in a long time, I woke up with enough energy to actually get out of bed immediately, so I decided to take a shower. 

God, it felt good. I was under the water for at least an hour, relishing in the warmth it sent through my body. I breathed in the steam, and I felt relaxed. Rejuvenated. Content. I was  _ feeling.  _ Perhaps sleep was all I really needed. Lord knows I certainly haven’t been getting enough.

The shower gave me even more energy, and I was itching to do something with my hands. So, after washing my face and brushing my teeth, I padded back to my bedroom with the intent of getting dressed and cleaning it. Throwing my towel in the hamper, I got dressed. I picked out a pair of jeans -  _ jeans! Not sweats! _ \- and a comfy t-shirt and got to work.

I started at my desk - there were still papers and books stacked there from the end of my senior year.  _ Have these really been here for four months? _ I hadn’t touched the desk or my computer since graduation. Renee finally learned how to text, so I didn’t have to email her anymore. (She had even sent me the newest iPhone as an early graduation gift in April, which was definitely an upgrade from my old flip phone.) In fact, I don’t even think I had turned that computer on since then.

After the desk, I cleaned out my nightstand and organized my bookshelf alphabetically by author. I set Jacob’s carved box on top of the shelf, safe from being knocked over by anything. _Okay...what next? Closet? _I moved to my closet and opened the door, staring at the clothes hanging there. _How does one organize a closet?_ _Season? Color?_ I shook my head at the silly thought and decided I’d go through the things stored in there, ignoring the clothes. I pulled down shoe boxes and tubs from the shelf above the hanging clothes and set them all on my bed.

One shoebox held photos from when I still lived with Renee. Most of them were of her - on beaches, at parks, some with Phil, some with me. Some were just from places we’d visited. I went through a certain stack rubber-banded together with the label  _ “Disneyland, July 2006 _ .” Looking through the pictures, most of them showcasing an awkward, lanky 12-year-old girl looking uncomfortable next to numerous characters, I laughed. I clapped my hand to my mouth, caught off guard from the sound - I couldn’t remember the last time I had laughed… My hand fell away from my lips, and my shoulders shook from the giggles now escaping me. I laughed at how silly I looked in those pictures, I laughed at the fact my own laughter scared me, and I laughed out of happiness that I felt good enough to even laugh in the first place. I was  _ feeling _ again. 

When I recovered from my fit of giggling, I sighed, wiped a tear away from the corner of my eye, and put the pictures back in the box. I poured over the contents of the other boxes and tubs which included journals, awards from school, collections of old birthday cards, and even some art supplies Renee had gotten me as a birthday gift after I had first moved to Forks. I had never touched them.

_ Maybe I should take up painting _ , I thought, and I set the supplies on my now clear desk to look through later before putting the other boxes back on the shelf in my closet.

Looking down, I noticed the floor of the closet was a mess, too - a couple of tops and a coat that had fallen off of their hangers, shoes laying here and there, and a small black trash bag sitting in the back corner.  _ Oh _ . A lump formed in my throat as I thought about the contents of that bag. I hesitated, starting to close the closet door before realizing that I needed to face this. I couldn’t keep hiding from how I felt. I couldn’t keep ignoring the past.

With a new determination, I hung up the tops on the floor and spent maybe a little too long placing my shoes in a perfectly straight line. Finally, I just grabbed the bag off the floor, turned around, and threw it on my bed. I took a deep breath and untied the bag, pulling out the first thing my hand touched. The blue blouse. My breath hitched as I took it in. I stared at it for what felt like forever, before scrunching up my nose and throwing it in the trash can I’d been using to throw away unnecessary things. 

“Never really liked that shirt anyway,” I said to myself hoarsely.  _ I don’t even like blue. I like brown. And green. _

It was true - I had only ever worn blue because Edward said he liked it on me, not because I liked it. I always thought greens and dark reds and browns complimented my skin tone and eyes better. I didn’t need anything I had gotten just to please a boy.

This realization gave me newfound confidence, and I ripped open the bag to reveal the rest of its contents. Out spilled the photo album containing the pictures I curated over the last year, the CD he had made me, and the tickets to Jacksonville Carlisle and Esme bought me, as well as my copy of  _ Romeo and Juliet _ . I grabbed the tickets first and set them aside - I could keep those for sometime soon if they hadn’t expired already. I tossed  _ Romeo and Juliet _ in the garbage on top of the blouse. 

I pondered over the other two items - the two that reminded me the most of him, the two that hurt me most to think about. Reluctantly picking up the photo album, I sat down and opened the cover to the first page. A sharp pain echoed through my torso as I took in the picture of him and me at the prom I didn’t want to go to. I flipped the page to see two pictures - one of him before we had entered the Cullen house for the graduation party I didn’t want, and one of him and I at the graduation party I didn’t want. 

I turned the page again, this time revealing a photo I had taken of my friends the last week of school - Jessica, Mike, Angela, Tyler, and Eric smiled up at me, their arms around each other as they stood in the parking lot. The next photo showed Charlie sitting behind a plate of steak at the diner, looking taken aback, but smiling nonetheless. The rest of the album was just empty photo slots, waiting to be filled. I glanced up at the camera on my desk - maybe I could fill the album up soon…

Closing the photo album, I set it with the plane tickets and turned my attention to the last item in the bag: the CD. The first song was a lullaby.  _ My _ lullaby. My eyes darted to my bedside table’s drawer where my CD player was stored, unused for months. I considered, for a moment, pulling the CD player out and listening to the song I knew would bring back so many memories… My hand twitched towards the drawer before I shook my head at the thought. Perhaps another time I would force myself to listen to the music that would inevitably bring me an immeasurable amount of pain.

With a sigh, I took everything left from the bag - the tickets, the photo album, and the CD - and put them away. The CD went in the drawer on top of my CD player, the tickets were pinned to my mostly empty cork board behind my desk, and the photo album was placed on top of my bookshelf, next to Jacob’s box.

Putting the now empty bag in the trash, I tied up the trash bag and lugged it downstairs, setting it next to the kitchen trash. I would take it out later after I made myself something to eat.

I checked the clock on the wall - 1 p.m. Charlie would be home in a few hours, so I guessed I should pull something out of the freezer to thaw for dinner. I took a pack of frozen chicken breasts and set them in the sink, turning back to the fridge to make myself a snack. My stomach growled, and I realized I actually hadn’t eaten anything at all today. And I was  _ exhausted _ . So I decided a peanut butter and jelly sandwich would suffice.

As soon as I finished eating my sandwich, I reached for the garbage to take outside when the phone rang. 

“Hello?”

“ _ Hey, Bells! I’ll probably be about an hour late today… won’t be home ‘til around 5… Got some stuff to do… I was just calling to check up on ya.”  _

“Hey, Dad. That’s fine, I’ll have dinner ready when you get home. Don’t worry about it,” I said.

_ “Oh. Um. Don’t worry about dinner. I’ll pick somethin’ up. How’s pizza sound? I was thinkin’ we could have maybe a movie night or somethin’. Ya know, just to relax. We didn’t really get to do much yesterday for your birthday...” _

I chuckled. “Um, yeah, sure, Dad. That sounds great,” I said, putting the chicken back in the freezer, sort of relieved that I wouldn’t have to cook. Then it hit me. “Uh. Dad. I…really hope you aren’t planning on doing anything… I mean for my birthday… it  _ is  _ technically over, you know. So… no more presents are needed.”

He sounded taken aback but nervous, and he spoke quickly.  _ “Oh, no, babygirl, nothin’ like that. Just a little father-daughter bonding. Uh, I actually gotta go. I’ll see you when I get home, Bells, love you, bye!”  _ And just like that, before I could say “I love you, too,” he hung up.

Charlie was never great at lying, so when there was something to lie about, he usually just avoided the conversation completely. Luckily, he was never one to go all out on gifts, so I assumed maybe he’d gotten me a book or something. I laughed to myself and took the garbage out.

Instead of staying inside the rest of the day, I decided to grab a book and read in the backyard. It was an unusually nice day with the sun shining through a rare thin layer of clouds. I sat on the lounge chair on the back porch,  _ The Hobbit  _ in my hands, my phone on the little side table next to me. I felt peaceful. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to everyone who has stuck with me. Writing is HARD. I'm trying - really, I am - to update as often as possible. This chapter took far too long to post, but I'm glad that whoever is reading this has continued to support me.
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr @chiefjacob for updates on this fic and other twilight content! Love you all!


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